On the Hill

I can't believe that I have already spent nearly a month here.
I can still remember the first day, August 31th, that my dream of stepping in college finally came true. The campus was quiet, but it was filled with excitement, ready to burst out screaming with joy. No parents, no friends, just by myself, I carried my suitcases up the top floor of Hoyme, towards the end of the hallway, where I belong for the rest of the year. My stuff unpacked quickly, I stared in the empty room, wondering what my roommate was like, who would be my friends, what classes would I take. It was a complex emotion, mixed with both excitement and sadness, the same feeling that everyone else had. But I could feel something more. My limited writing ability probably won't allow me to express my true feeling, but every time I think about my parents, whose daughters are so far away from home, who spend Thanksgiving and Christmas alone, who can only see me once a year, tears are swimming. I guess that two years ago when I left China for going to high school in Minnesota, we had already made a pact. I am here for a reason. The international student orientation was fun. People all over the world, people like me gathered on campus, sharing our stories, and of course, our expectations and joyous for the upcoming semester. Soon all the first year student poured into St. Olaf. Parents were crying, and grandparents were crying, and even the puppy was sobbing.
"When do you think he is going to go home?" my friend from Ecuador asked me.
"I don't know, fall break?"
And we both just laughed.
I was not trying to make fun of anyone, and I am never going to. It was a bitter laugh, the laugh you have to make when you don't want to cry.
Like the Puritan sailing across the ocean, we all came to pursue our dreams. The puritans were after the spiritual purification of their church, and I am after the freedom of allowing myself to fly and sour.
This is now my home the other side of the world.